Originally released in 1972 on RCA records
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Tantamount to Treason, Vol. 1
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I assume that anyone who listens to any album does not need liner notes to tell them whether or not the music made them feel something ... so that's that.
Therefore, I would like to use this space to tell you how to make home-brewed beer.
THE PAPA NES HOME-BREW RECIPE
BARLEY MALT ... ABOUT THREE POUNDS
WATER ... ABOUT FIVE GALLONS
HOPS ... ABOUT A CUP (Washington hops, if available)
CORN ... TO TASTE (PILGRIMS THREW IN ARTICHOKE)
RICE ... TO TASTE (It has to be processed rice)
BREWER'S YEAST ... ONE BLOCK (It must be fresh and non-flocculant*)
Now then, you're gonna need a bunch of big pots (obviously big enough to hold
five gallons of home brew.) In the first pot make a porridge-like mash of the
water and the barley malt. (The water has to be between one-hundred-and-fifty
and one-hundred-and seventy degrees Fahrenheit before adding it to the barley
malt.) O.J. "Red" Rhodes: Pedal Steel Guitar. Stir the mixture well for about
twenty minutes. (If you get tired, sometimes friends will help you if you tell
'em what you're doing.) Michael Cohen: Keyboards and Moog Synthesizer. Strain
this mixture into another kettle; add the corn, rice and hops; slow boil for
about two hours. (It really smells good at this stage.) Jack Panelli: Drums.
Strain slow-boiled mixture into another pot and allow to cool to room
temperature. Add the block of yeast. Johnny Meeks: Bass. Put it in the
refrigerator. Do not allow the temperature of the mixture to rise over sixty
degrees from this point on, because if you do ... you got the world's worst
soup. You are now in attendance at a miracle of nature in the capacity of
midwife. José Feliciano: Congas. The first day some white stuff will appear at
the top; by the second day it will really start bubbling and forming lots of
that white stuff. As midwife your job is to constantly scrape that off the top
of the brew. At the end of the third day, it will stop. You now have green beer
-- a potent potable drunk by maniacs and people from Farmers Branch, Texas.
Assuming that you are neither, I suggest we go to the bottling stage. In
bottling, make sure you use only those bottles designed especially for
carbonated beverages. These can be purchased at any Sears or Montgomery Ward.
(If you don't, I would like to remind you of the great natural explosion that
took place near Tempe, Arizona in 1927.) You also need a crown capper which is
also available from the above-named stores. Pour the brew into the bottles. Cap
the bottles. Keep those bottles at thirty-two degrees until you can't stand it
anymore and you got BEER. There will probably be some sediment at the bottom of
each of the bottles; that shouldn't bother you, but at the same time don't drink
it ... IT TASTES TERRIBLE. This recipe misses as often as it hits ... if it
hits, your popularity will be assured ... if it misses, it makes sensational
fertilizer ... or hair spray. Good luck....
*Non-flocculant ... that means it doesn't get lumpy. Producer: M. Nesmith who
also played guitar and sang.
Warning: Michael Nesmith's Home-Brewed Beer may be hazardous to your health.
Autoclaving turns this line brown.
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